How to say you want something serious
Key facts
| When to say it | On your profile, and again in your own words by the first or second date |
|---|---|
| How to say it | As something about you, not a question they must answer now |
| What to avoid | Timelines, ultimatums and a checklist on date one |
| Good sign | They answer honestly about what they want too |
Lots of people worry that saying they want something serious will sound too keen. In practice, being clear is kind. It lets the other person decide with real information.
Know what you want first
Relate suggests checking in regularly on what you want from a relationship, now and in the future. If you are clear in your own head, it is much easier to say it calmly to someone else.
Source: Relate, checked 8 November 2026
Don't expect them to guess
Relate's advice is that partners are not mind-readers. Say what you are looking for in plain words, and ask what they want too.
Source: Relate, checked 8 November 2026
Be clear to avoid hurt later
Relationships Australia notes that people want different things, from marriage to something casual, and that knowing what you want helps avoid hurt down the track. Saying it early is part of that.
Source: Relationships Australia, checked 8 November 2026
Questions
Is it okay to say I want marriage on my profile?
Yes. Saying you would like to marry one day, or that you want a long-term partner, helps the right people find you. Keep it warm and simple rather than a list of conditions.
Will saying I want something serious put people off?
It might put off people who want something casual, and that is the point. People who want the same thing usually find it reassuring.
What if they say they are not sure yet?
Not sure is a fair answer early on. Keep dating at a pace that feels right, and check in again after a few dates.